My mother tracks me down. She reads my report card from my once sixth grade teacher, Miss Dirschel. Under “Conduct,” Dirschel gave me “satisfactory,” but she listed about thirty examples of my problem conduct.
“She is the silliest and loneliness girl I know,” was Dirschel’s conclusion. “She has only one friend. People don’t like her.” And she listed about thirty examples of inappropriate comments I had made to people, or things I had done, some repeatedly.
What will this performance review mean for me now? I hear the organization’s Financial Services Director M. tells others they are not on layoff list, but he does not answer me when I ask.
I think, I’ll use up my sick leave time coming to me, just in case I get laid off.
And if I do get laid off, I can spend time writing my novel. It won’t be so bad.
I imagine my mother thinking, ‘But who will pay for things for her, if she doesn’t work?”
Then, I am walking hand in hand with a tall black woman, who I befriended when she was new to the organization. She, for one, thinks of me as friendly.
I will ask for testaments and give them to Miss D. and she will see she is wrong. Just today several people were friendly towards me.
Where is the information? How could I lose the plastic casing, the casing around the report card? The plastic had the thirty comments on it. I’m looking and even searching through the trash for the missing plastic wrap that had the items on it.
Miss D. disliked me when she was my sixth grade teacher. Now that she is my supervisor, she still hates me.
C. gets involved. He tells me that when someone else received penalty points in a performance review, the employee walked in and gave cash for the amount of the penalty points. The penalty was wiped off, in exchange for the cash. He says that I should do that.
“Walk in, and just give them the point value in dollars. And offer to perform sexual favors at the same time.” But the committee members are old and ugly. I don’t want to do that.
I’m told that band practice is not just 4:30 pm Monday through Thursday, but Friday is added as well. It is at my house. Do others know that Friday has been added? Does C know, since it is his house, as well?
A man at a desk is stacking large, wooden, toy building blocks, forming a wall on the desk in front of him. We will practice Pink Floyd’s Wall. But, much confusion about the date of the performance, and the practice days at my house.